I was Ebenezer Scrooge…

And somehow, I now I felt how it is on their shoes. This has been a humbling experience.

When I was there, I felt empowered due to my connections, influence and education. I also have a messianic syndrome in which I can only I dictate my caprices and rules to my fellow forumers who were also enthusiastically contributing to the forum—its for the good of everyone. Their opinion differed, yet I impose mine on them and shove it in their asses—yes, because I thought it was the right way, not theirs. Because of it, instead of being respected, I was hated. I thought I was messianic yet my authority waned. And when the people revolted, stood up against my opinions I was toppled. I self-exiled myself. Embittered and never longed to be back in the despotic land of rabid dogs.

And then, when I went into another world, I thought it was a relief. Yes, the same things like the forum that was, albeit different. However, some people pseudo-ruled it as well. Placed what is right, do what is right, because they think it is also right—because they are seniors, they have experiences. I’ve saw rifts and conflicts all over—tension arises, yet it is still not overturned…just not now. And then for the first time, I saw myself on the other end of the line—somehow oppressed, since I’m a novice to the eyes of these men. I was dictated to follow this and that. I would like to speak out but in return I may lose face, just like those who stood before. It took me this humbling experience to realize what I have done to the world I had left.

I miss my old self, who had no authority nor power to shove your opinion to their asses. They too are like you—rational human beings.

To be a leader, it doesn’t mean you have the intelligence, experience and authority alone.To be a leader, you must always hear the sentiments and the differences of the people and use the talents and skills that you have as well. Teach, but also learn from the people. It took me a hard time to realize these things…karma’s indeed a bitch, but I thank her for that. If it wasn’t, then I may not be a better man in the future.

Jacob Marley visited me one December evening—just few days after my birthday, and back then I was Ebenezer Scrooge.